Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day can be tough and awkward for single moms. It’s not like my 4 year old can jump in the car to get me flowers or a gift. Gifts aren’t important, they are gestures which can be paired with heartfelt actions to really demonstrate how truly special mom is but not necessary.

As you can imagine, this was not in my original life plan. Instead of this day making me feel sad or lonely, my perspective has changed and I’m able to really appreciate my situation and my new life.

I ask for what I want. I told my daughter to draw me a picture along with a big hug & kiss. She delivered and thought she was surprising me even though it was my idea. Haha. She actually had another surprise for me, this handmade card from school. Honestly, the sweetest thing ever. Btw she thinks I’m 100 years old!

I have learned to let go of this “perfect” idea of a family that never existed. And this has allowed me to appreciate the amazing and unique life that I have created.

I get to spend a lot of one on one time with the most amazing little girl ever. We are closer than ever and our bond is unbreakable.

Deciding to focus on myself and look inside instead of outside has allowed me to get to know myself better and feel empowered. Focusing on what everyone else does or has can be a recipe for disaster. Stay focused and it’ll bring you happiness and gratitude.

You are the best adventure

Hiking trails has been our new found love. I’ve never been much of an outdoorsy girl but have been wanting to step up my fitness. The best part is doing it with you.

I mean outdoors are perfect for toddlers… digging in the dirt, picking up twigs and gathering up leaves. It’s basically a big playground for them. Best part, it’s free.

The world is a natural learning environment. School is great, but the world is the most effective teacher. It is so much more interesting and allows them to be little explorers.

Adventures together create special moments and shared experiences we’ll never forget.

Your life is just beginning

I can’t wait to watch you write the next chapters. You are sweet, yet strong and really determined. I can’t prepare you for everything in life, I know you will learn many lessons on your own.

But if I can help you a little along the way, here are some things I’d like to share with you.

Know yourself. Find your passions and strength.

Be true to yourself. Don’t worry about pleasing anyone, allow your true colors to shine as you are.

Love and believe in yourself. True confidence comes from within, it stems from a positive attitude and belief in yourself.

Explore out of your comfort zone and your growth will come overtime. Whatever path you choose, follow your passion.

To my daughter

Dance season just ended and soon you’ll be finished with preschool. I just can’t believe it. When you are older you’ll understand how fast time flies.

How you have grown in just 4 years! From an infant, to a toddler, preschooler, we’ve been through many, way too short stages. You may not remember it all, but I do. Don’t worry, though. Your early stages are well documented. As my first and only child, I have several thousand photos of you. As your mother, I can tell you about almost each and every one.

When I was pregnant, I used to wonder about who you’d be after you were born. Now I still find myself wondering who you’ll be as an older child, a teenager, and even an adult. I am excited, but a little nervous too, about the unknown.

I worry about whether I’ve been the mom you need and what I can do better. Do I hug you enough? Am I too firm with you or not firm enough? Do I give you the attention you need? What other ways can I help you to become more independent as you grow? How can I provide the right amount of support in the process?

I’m struggling with all of this a bit. You’re only 4 years old. Transitions are hard, especially for a sensitive child like you. My journey with you has been this maze, full of twists and turns. Together we hit roadblocks and have had to find other routes to the correct path. Other times we have an easier time finding our way.

No matter how disheartened or aggravated I get through the process, please know I am trying my best. I still have so much to learn about how to be your mom. However, you’ve done a good job teaching me a thing or two so far.

As you grow, I watch and learn from you every day. You are the most observant child I know. You’ve taught me that life is so much more interesting when you notice the little things.

I love and admire your creativity, imagination and spirit. Watching you has given me so many creative ideas. I hope you’ll use these strengths in the future; they will get you far.

As much as your shenanigans drive me crazy, I learn more about being patient all the time.

But I want you to know, there is no other little girl I’d rather take this journey with. Behind all my worries, there is hope. I can’t wait to see where this path takes us.

I want you to know that you should never stop learning and noticing the little things. Keep loving, keep trying, keep dreaming, and believe in yourself, because I sure believe in you!